Lady Gaga's Love Advice

I saw this posted on Facebook the other day and it really got the wheels turning in my noggin. First of all, who creates these photos? Someone who obviously thinks that it might be a great idea to follow Lady Gaga's love advice. I don't know much about LG's love life, I don't get a lot of time to follow Perez these days, and although I like jamming out to her hits, I'm going to pass on her love advice. Maybe if the love advice was from a real credible source such as, "Old married lady", I'd be way more likely to be like, "oooohhh yeah that seems like a great idea". But here's the thing about this quote that really bothers me. The quote insinuates that I'm an idiot. That because I married the man that I know is the love of my life, knowing that it would greatly affect my career, that I chose a man over my career. Really I chose love and happiness and family over money and myself. George and I both know that I'd have a job if I weren't tied down to Eastern NC. But this is where we are and this is where we will stay. That was discussed and made clear from day one. I wonder what that really says about me. I think it says that I trust him, with all my heart to take care of me. I won't ever regret my decision. I'm a man follower!!!!!! I think if you're lucky enough to find that person who is worth following then you follow them. You give up things and you make sacrifices. You don't think about the future and what might happen and whether they are going to let you down. If it's real, they won't.

Go away black cloud!

I've been attempting to write this post for a couple of days. It's been a busy weekend, but I find it important that I write this. On Friday, I laid Maggie down for her morning nap as usual. About 3 minutes later I heard an awful scream from her room (she sleeps in a toddler bed). I ran in there and found her standing there with a metal coat hanger, not wire, but thick metal, stuck in her throat. She was pulling at it, coughing, gagging and bleeding. I tried to get it out and it wouldn't come, it was too far down so I stuck my fingers down in her throat and loosened the hanger and freed it. She was still hysterical and bleeding. I called my dad, who lives next door and had him come over to watch John. I called George (he was on shift at the fire department) and told him to meet me at the pediatric ED. I threw her in the car and left. When we got to the ED the bleeding had stopped and she was calm. It seemed that she had not punctured anything serious, but I still wanted to have her checked out. They did a chest xray to make sure nothing broke off in her, and they looked in her throat. The doctor determined that the abrasion or puncture was further down in her throat than he could see. But she was talking, she was breathing okay, they made her eat and drink and seemed to be doing all things well. He decided that it would be more traumatic to her (and us!) to do a scope to see what we already knew was there, especially if we didn't need to fix anything. They said she may cough up a little blood or throw some up but otherwise she was very lucky. She had a lot of pain for abotu 24 hours and still grabs at her mouth if she coughs, but she's fine now. All in all, the incident was traumatizing, but turned out okay. I just want everyone to make sure they get rid of all metal or wire hangers!!

Ramblings of an emotional day.

I looked back at my blog post of the "time line" today and I'm just in tears thinking about it all. How our life has been. I'm 28. I spent my last Thanksgiving having dinner (thankfully two very tasty dinners from a church and the fire dept) in a hospital with my very sick husband. My sister moved in with us and slept on our couch for 3 months because it was necessary to have full time care for my 12 month old, 2 year old and my husband and I needed her. I had to give him meds around the clock, sometimes every two hours and up to 12 different meds a day for months. I remember one day they changed his dosages on me at the doctors office and my brain was so fried I just looked a a nurse friend of mine and said "Please help me figure this out, I'm so tired". Daily dressing changes. Then there was one of my least favorite things, the withdraw off of methadone on Christmas weekend. If you're ever offered methadone for pain, just say no. After a 3 wean, he STILL had a HORRIBLE withdraw and spent Christmas morning in tears from the withdraw instead of with his kids. It wasn't until the end of January that he was able to get his driving privledges back, and a week later, he got hospitalized and had 2 surgeries for an infection. :( Setbacks. Then there was the PICC line. While it was a very cool procedure to watch, I could have done without it in my otherwise healthy, 27 year old husband. 3 times a day, IV meds in a PICC line for 6 weeks. Now that's HOT. HAHA But dear GOD I love my husband, I mean seriously, I cut his dangling, mangled arm out of an auger and then held it together all the way to the hospital in the back of an ambulance! I have been to more doctor's appointments in the past year then I will probably ever go to in my life. I tried to spread myself out evenly, I know my kids need me too. I think I took good care of my sweetie (he'll probably disagree, but he was high). I did an okay job with the kids, they're young, whatever bang up job I did should resolve itself, or I'll just start setting aside money for therapy now....HAHA. Their stand in MOM was there. Rahrah. She's pretty cool. My sister, God I love her. She's the best thing ever. When George told me today that the same doctor who stood in that family room 10 months ago and said "I think he will keep his arm, but he won't have full use, and he'll never be a firefighter again", wrote him a note to return to full duty, as a firefighter I just cried. I'm so proud of my husband. There were days that we have both been close to giving up. It's been hard as HELL to get through this. But we've had such amazing support. We must be doing something right in our lives to deserve all the wonderful people who have been there for us. George and I have been friends for 25 years. We've been dating on and off for 15 years, together steady for 10 years and married 5. We have 2 beautiful children. We have weathered the storm. He is my person, my best friend. I feel so blessed that God picked him to be my husband. We're as opposite as can be when it comes to some things, but when it comes to things that matter, we are best friends, and think the same. I miss him every second that I'm not with him. I love him. I am so glad he's here. I'm so glad he's okay and that he can do the job for which he has passion. I will stop rambling now. It's been a very emotional day.

Breastfeeding and Solids FAQ

Okay, please don't be offended if I tagged you and you could care less about this info! HAHA I couldn't remember who all had asked me questions lately about breasfeeding. So I decided to just tag all the pregnant people and new moms! So just ignore this if it's not relevant to you! HAHA BTW, This is all based on my own experience and my own personal research. I am not in any way affiliated with any group. Breastfeeding is supply and demand. So the more you feed, the more you will supply. Which is why, when people start supplementing with formula, they notice a decrease in supply. Your body has no clue you are supplementing, so how would it know that it needs to make more than it already does. Supplementing will affect your supply negatively. 1. Lots of people have asked about "delaying solids" with my kids. There are many many reason why I wait until the kids are 6 months (or within a week or two) before I give them solids. Also, it is one of my pet peeves to describe it as "delaying solids". I didn't DELAY solids, since the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend solids until age 6 months. I just waited until my kids were old enough to have solids. This will benefit them more in the future (lower risk of allergies and obesity) as well as now (cereal in a bottle is a choking hazard and their digestive systems aren't ready). I tried to spoon feed Maggie cereal at 5 months, and it caused her to have bleeding intestinally. So we put off solids until 6 months, and she is eating 1-2 ounces a day of solids quite well, with no major side effects, what a difference a month made (although she is not eating cereal at all) we have decided to forgo cereal and I am making homemade babyfood for her! Here are some of my favorite articles regarding beginning solids. http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-sleep.html http://www.drgreene.com/qa/baby-bottles-and-cereal http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/delay-solids.html Also, an article regarding juice: http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/baby-juice.html (Maggie now gets 2 ounces of apple juice in a sippy cup daily to help with digestion of the solids). 2. How much expressed milk do I give my kids? Maggie is 6 months and has never had more than 5 ounces in a sitting. And that was on a hungry day. She averages 4 ounces of EBM (expressed breast milk) when she gets a bottle. I'm sure she WOULD drink 10 ounces if I gave it to her, and then barf it all back up! LOL Also, keep in mind that breast milk and formula are not the same and are not given in the same amounts. Another point I like to make is breastfed babies should only the slowest flow nipple always. Here's my favorite article regarding "how much": I love the charts and calculators! http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkcalc.html 3. Pumping Pumping is not nearly as efficient as your sweet baby. So if you pump only 1 ounce in 20 minutes, that is NO indication on how much your baby is eating. 4. Now that my children are older and Maggie's digestion issues are over. They only get water to drink (and breastmilk for Maggie who is 21 monnths and almond milk for John who is 3.5 years). There is no nutrional value to juice. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, it's just expensive and full of sugar and dyes. Water is the best thing for them. Ask a doc or a dentist, I promise they'll concur. Here is the main page of my favorite breastfeeding website!! http://www.kellymom.com/bf/index.html

Frustration

I wonder if there will be one single day in the near future that I will go to the mailbox and not have 1-4 medical bills. And I wonder how many trees Vidant has killed in sending my daily reminders of how much money if owed to them. And I do mean DAILY. And WHY do they have a different bill for EACH event? It's not per patient, it's per event. So every time there are like 3-4 bills from them. Seems a little over the top to me. Once a month like every other place would be fine. I feel like an old person. There's a shower seat in bathroom. There are pill boxes in the cabinet with not too distant memories of filling them with 12 medications at once. There is a big box of first aid and bandaging supplies. I deal with the insurance company more than I ever wanted to. Appointments for all kinds of stuff, neurologists, plastic surgeons, orthopedic surgeons. For the kids pediatricians. Me and my ENT and rheumatologist and neurologist and regular doctor. And dentists. And eye doctors. And I'm pretty sure I am suffering some PTSD. I'm not going to hide behind it anymore. I was in the house the other day with the windows open. And John was at his Grandad's house. I heard a child scream. Apparently it was the kid that the neighbor babysits. But it was a blood curdling scream (I think he's a dramatic kid) and my heart dropped into my stomach, I almost threw up, and I ran out the door in panic mode searching for my child. I'm pretty sure that is not normal. If George leaves the house for too long and doesn't asnwer his phone when I call, I panic. I say I want to get a job. And I do, because I love my education and have a passion for my area of expertise and we have medical bills like whoa, but the thought of leaving my children truly causes my heart to race. I feel like as long as I am in control and with them, I can protect them from harm. The thing about the PTSD is that I'm not depressed. I'm not SAD, I'm happy. I'm so happy that my husband is still with us. That he survived that event, that he kept his arm, and now that his arm is going to work. And I'm not even altogether a pessimist. I'm still a fairly optimistic person as far as how things will work out in the end. It's more the here and now. I'm always anxious. I'm always panicked. I'm always tired. I'm always afraid. Afraid to answer the phone. Please don't ever call me after 10 pm unless it's something serious. Because I will assume it's something horrible and have an anxiety attack before I answer the phone. Plus, I'm sleeping then. Maybe it will get better with time.

One year

One year has come and gone. I wondered what it would be like, some people say time heals. Those people, I'm sure, have never lost someone they loved so deeply. Time does NOT heal. That I am certain of. What time does do is help the memories become happy things, rather than pain and tears, the memories immediately bring a smile to your face. I loved Phil dearly. He was the first person in this family to embrace me and he truly loved me like I was his daughter. I never for one second doubted that. His love for all people, black, white, big, little, rich, poor, was admirable. I am not sure I've ever met anyone else quite as tolerable and open minded as him. He had an uncanny ability to just love people for who they were on the inside, regardless of any past indiscrestions. I am not sure what I expected from the year. I don't think we've had time to heal given the other trauma we've had to endure, but maybe we'll be stronger in the end for it all. Living out here on the farm doesn't give much of chance to push any memories away or allow us to forget. Phil is here, all the time. In everything we do. He's here in John. John mentions him daily. We live in the house that was Phil's. The golf cart, the shop, the saddle I ride with, the boots George wears, the motorcycle. We have Phil's hat on display next to the first little hat he bought John from the John Deere store. There are constant reminders. Not to mention George is so much like his Dad it's crazy! I can't listen to that new song "He's Mine" without bawling. Phil used to say that about George "That's MY boy" is what he used to say, no matter if he was doing good or bad. We miss him but his memory will never be gone. We were lucky for the time we had. I think often about this poem that was read at the funeral it sums up Phil so well. Furrows And Fields Author: Jilchristy Dee I spent my life in furrows and fields Working and tilling the land Observing the beauties created By God’s almighty hand I have touched the richness of soil I’ve born the wind and sun on my face And I would choose this life and this land Over any other place A life filled with crimson-dawned mornings When I was up to greet the sky Days spent with family and creation All throughout my life I was blessed to experience each springtime Where raindrops have washed the earth clean While summer’s sun nurtured my harvests Fields bearing the lushness of green And my life’s been strengthened by trials For the weak can never belong In a living where nature and the elements Form a body and a courage that’s strong Still, I’ve also been blessed with some miracles During trying times, when I couldn’t go on Until God sent me the help I needed And kept me right where I belonged So having witnessed the power of God Upon my life and upon the seasons I know there’s a purpose in everything Though sometimes we don’t know the reasons …And so my life must be no different Just like the crops that I have grown For I am also God’s child and seed That at harvest must come home… To share in the joy of His presence And to humbly kneel at His feet Entering into His joy, and His rest For a season of everlasting peace Copyright 2008 Jilchristy Dee. All Rights Reserved.

What I really want to do is build a fence

What I really want to do is build a fence around my farm and stay here forever. Build a commune and live off the land and never let bad things happen to my children or myself or my family. But I can't do that. So I'll be a mom and I'll think constantly about how I can raise good children and raise them to be good productive citizens. Of course, I have plenty of questions on how to do that. In fact I'm pretty much winging it. Mostly trial and error at this point. I'm pretty sure if John whacks his sister with a firetruck it's no indication of future violent behavior. I think. HAHA But there are conclusions I have drawn about what IS important.
1. Taking them to church. So maybe they don't pay attention and they run around, but they're there and they see their family there and they know it's important somehow, and one day they will get that.
2. Family time. Eating dinner at the table together at night. We eat together around the table almost every night and talk about our day. We ask John questions and allow him to answer. And family time should include everything, kids can do anything with you, sometimes things get messy or aren't perfect, but that's the fun in having kids!
3. Tell them you love them. Tell them you are there for them, that they can talk to you. Don't make children feel like a burden or a bother, ever. I've had the joyous pleasure in helping raise my goddaughter who is now 10 and I can not tell you how important it is to make sure you allow children to be comfortable with communicating with you as they get older.
4. BE THERE. BE THERE. BE THERE.
5. Create boundaries and don't spoil them. I struggle with this one BIG time. who doesn't want to give their children everything? But I am afraid that we get the whole "entitlement" issue from spoiling them! Just say no and stick with it. They'll get over it. And they won't hate you for not giving them the candy. Just ask John. Last week he was sneaking into the treat cabinet for the hundredth time and I was tired of it. So I dumped the treat bucket in the trash can. Yeah, he hasn't done any more sneaking.

And here's another piece of my mind that I'm sure no one cares about: DAD'S. BE A DAD. Good grief. Every time I watch intervention or First 48 it seems that every screwed up drug addict or violent criminal had a dad the checked out when they were young. And in all honesty, most of the time Mom's/Family's who didn't pick up the slack. But Mom wouldn't HAVE to pick up the slack if Dad would just step up. Dude, if you have a baby, you have to lead that child. Lead by example and be a good one. I am so tired of so called fathers not stepping up and taking care of their responsibilities and I passionately feel like father's make a real and huge difference in their children's lives. Not just son's either. Dad's, please be dads. Not part time dads. All the time dads. Not when it is convenient. ALL THE TIME. Children are not a matter of convenience. Whether you are in a relationship with the child's mother or not, parents have a responsibility to get along for the sake of their children. And if you know a child who is living in a one parent household, you can be the person to be a support for that parent and child. It truly DOES take a village to raise a child.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Proverbs 22:6