June first.

Well, if you're new to our life (as some of my mommy friends are) then I'm sure by now you've heard me mention my fabulous father in law, Phil.  But you haven't met him.  Because three years ago today, he had a farming accident.  He spent 5 very awful days in the hospital before he died on June 5, 2011.  I don't cry much anymore.  Maybe once a week or so.  I'm easily overcome by emotion when I think about him and the kids.  If you DID know us then, then you know how much he loved my little goobers!  Actually, if you knew him, then he probably had my number one boy with him.  Even at the bar.  Yep, that crazy old man used to take the golf cart and go down (.5 mile) the road to the bar and hang out outside the bar with my baby.  They were inseparable.  And honestly, I had no objection.  There were rules (like no smoking around the baby) but no objections.  In fact, if it's possible, I think he may have loved my son more that I did!
When I remember this particular day, I of course have very very good memory of the things I did and said that day.  What I was doing and where I was when I got the call.  I remember things like sitting in the waiting room with my mom and my sister (I was the first one there) and then my sister in law.  I rember seeing Steve pull up with George and thinking, Steve can take care of John.  So many things I remember so well.  I don't know if that's good or bad.   I think some of the good of it all is that I remember faces of people who were THERE for us.  The ones who helped and provided and got us through that ugly time.  Steve and Crystal Minor.   My God, if these people aren't heaven sent then I just don't know where they came from.  I love Steve like a brother for all he's done for us.  Other people that I immediately think of when I think of this time, my family (ALL of them), Helen Reel, Reita Elks, Brenda Elks, too many to name from the fire department, Alida, Amy, Lizzie Joyner and so many many more.  These are the people you want on your team.  When shit gets real, they're there.
Sometimes people ask me how I survived that year with a baby and a 2 year old.  And the only answer I can really give, "with help".  I don't know either, but I DO know that if all of these people hadn't helped me, and somedays literally held me up, then I wouldn't have.  June 1, 2011, through May 31, 2012 was by far the worst 12 months of my life and I wish that on no one.  But we made it.  We have an amazing guardian angel on our side.
The one thing that changed the most since that day, is that I stopped watching Y&R.  I couldn't care any less about it.  I watched it with Phil.  And I can't do it anymore without him.  Many people aren't aware of our relationship.  He was one of my best friends, I know that's weird.  But it was awesome.  He accepted me with open arms from day one of dating G.  He helped me, he took care of me, he hung out with me when George was working to keep me company.  I miss him every single day.  I am thankful for all of our wonderful memories.  I'm thankful that he and I never missed an opportunity to tell each other that we loved each other.  I loved him and he knew it.  He loved me and I knew it.  I find peace in that.  Make sure if you love someone, they know.

Day 5 of the Financial Fast

Well, so far, so good. For me anyway. We have had to make some important decisions together about some money that we just weren't ready to stop spending. There's the obvious tithes that I didn't cover in our original agreement. So, of course, we will continue with that. We also did not think about charity. Normally, we aren't the type of people to just regularly give money to charity. But, we are the BBQ Plate, raffle ticket kind of people. We went to a benefit for our dear friend, Bigun, on Saturday. Bigun is a young man who married my best friend from high school, she is also the mother of our Goddaughter, our first baby, Mackenzy. We love him like he is family, there's no doubt about that! So we bought 3 bbq plates and $1.50 worth of cake walk tickets. We left the benefit with full bellies, 2 pound cakes (yeah that is going to grandma's house tomorrow) and a stuffed hippo for Maggie. We spent $22.50 and had a wonderful time. Well worth the money spent. We also bought 3 tickets for another raffle. The father of one of our friends passed away from cancer a week and a half ago. a couple of other friends were doing a raffle and tickets were $25 for three. We bought three. I WON something! WOOHOO I won a haircut from a salon in Greenville. I know what you're all thinking, the MASTAH does her fabulous hair. I know, I know, but free is free so Phoi Phillips at Matt Holder will be cutting this head. WITH approval from Heather, THE MASTAH, at Salon Circa (shameless advertisement, I know). Our final charity this week was a $50 donation to the NC Fallen Firefighters Fund. You know, the whole facebook cold water challenge craze.....it worked. So $50 is going to that charity. I'm not sure there is any GOOD financial justification for participating in charity. Other than we just think we should. It's important for us to give to others. Trust me, and I hope most of you never know, but it's damn scary to be in a tight spot or to face the possibility of losing things. We've been there, and we've been "loved" in so many ways by others. I'll get to that in just a minute, but I want to finish talking about the money first.
 I did go grocery shopping this week. And by shopping at Aldi, and making a really serious effort to use up things we have at home, I've come in well under budget on food. Wednesday night I made a BUNCH of waffles and pancakes for supper. Then we froze the rest. So the kids have been having that for breakfast this week. Thursday night we had baked chicken and we made a lot of it. So Friday we had chicken salad and I made a pot of black beans that had been sitting around forever. On Saturday we had the benefit, so we had bbq. And then we had chicken fajitas (made with leftover chicken, black beans, peppers, and onions). Today, Sunday we ate at a party and brought home leftovers. So far we are doing great. George has bought two pepsis, although he HAS bought them at the fire department where they are cheaper. I bought one gatorade yesterday because I had a headache. Overall I feel like we are doing okay. I think it is at the very least challenging us to THINK before we spend anything at all. We are also writing down every penny spent so we can evaluate the month. And I mean every penny, down to george's 55 cent pepsi!

 I want to spend a few minutes writing about "today" as in June first. But I think it would be better suited for a separate post.

30 day spending fast: the rules

It has been so long since I've blogged! I have missed blogging ans I'm excited about the opportunity to blog about this journey! Today is the day that we've chosen to do a 30 day spending fast. Perhaps that's not the right word, a spending reset or detox may be better suited. To start with, I will outline our rules. We looked up several blogs and plans from financial site and came up with our own rules and plan that we think will work best for us! This we Will spend money on and the rules within each category: Gas- gas will be bought, but will will cut out any trips hat aren't necessary and we will try to combine trips as much as possible, Food- I don't even want to think about how much we spend on food! and how much we WASTE on food. We will buy fresh fruits and veggies, baking things (flour, baking soda, etc). We will NOT be buying: alcohol, soda, flavor for water, fast food, take out, eating out, candy, cakes or sweets, chips or other "junk" food. The goal is to try to clean out the freezer and cupboards as much as possible. We will have some nights and days of strange meals. But we will do it! Well being items: sunscreen, bug spray, etc. things that are a must for our health and well being. Clothes: the only items we have agreed on are a bathing suit or two for John and Will. And we will try to get those for free or trade or cheap. Shoes Emily is giving up: Starbucks, online shopping, books (except for one book needed for a mom faith group), movies, or other entertainment George has agreed to give up buying breakfast in the morning, buying soda, entertainment, other extras. Gifts: we are talented people. We will not buy any gifts this month. We will make anything we can for gifting. Crafts: we will try to use up what craft supplies we have already We realize that needs may come up. Also wants. We will attempt to trade, barter, borrow anything we need. We hope that our friends and family will support us on this journey! I've already secured the items we need for tball from friends. Feeling blessed already. I am planning to start making laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, bread, and other items. We have so many of the things we need already to make that stuff! Entertainment: we've made a list of free or very cheap things to do as a family. Concert and movie in the park series, $1 movies, bible school, etc. my dad has graciously volunteered to pay for John to attend a 4h camp kn July also. We have also agreed upon a purchase that we need to make for a $10 cover for the pool. Things that we do need if anyone has them laying around: baby monitor for taking outside while kids are playing in the pool, old pillows that need recovering (I have a project in mind), large storage tubs and large storage bags, jars with kids small and large. We can barter for sewing, monogramming, some herbs, soon we will have some fresh veggies too! We are also looking to get some peas and carrots (we didn't get to plant them) and onions if anyone has any extra. I'm sure I will have some thoughts to add to this later. I will try to update with our progress every few days!