Go away black cloud!

I've been attempting to write this post for a couple of days. It's been a busy weekend, but I find it important that I write this. On Friday, I laid Maggie down for her morning nap as usual. About 3 minutes later I heard an awful scream from her room (she sleeps in a toddler bed). I ran in there and found her standing there with a metal coat hanger, not wire, but thick metal, stuck in her throat. She was pulling at it, coughing, gagging and bleeding. I tried to get it out and it wouldn't come, it was too far down so I stuck my fingers down in her throat and loosened the hanger and freed it. She was still hysterical and bleeding. I called my dad, who lives next door and had him come over to watch John. I called George (he was on shift at the fire department) and told him to meet me at the pediatric ED. I threw her in the car and left. When we got to the ED the bleeding had stopped and she was calm. It seemed that she had not punctured anything serious, but I still wanted to have her checked out. They did a chest xray to make sure nothing broke off in her, and they looked in her throat. The doctor determined that the abrasion or puncture was further down in her throat than he could see. But she was talking, she was breathing okay, they made her eat and drink and seemed to be doing all things well. He decided that it would be more traumatic to her (and us!) to do a scope to see what we already knew was there, especially if we didn't need to fix anything. They said she may cough up a little blood or throw some up but otherwise she was very lucky. She had a lot of pain for abotu 24 hours and still grabs at her mouth if she coughs, but she's fine now. All in all, the incident was traumatizing, but turned out okay. I just want everyone to make sure they get rid of all metal or wire hangers!!

Ramblings of an emotional day.

I looked back at my blog post of the "time line" today and I'm just in tears thinking about it all. How our life has been. I'm 28. I spent my last Thanksgiving having dinner (thankfully two very tasty dinners from a church and the fire dept) in a hospital with my very sick husband. My sister moved in with us and slept on our couch for 3 months because it was necessary to have full time care for my 12 month old, 2 year old and my husband and I needed her. I had to give him meds around the clock, sometimes every two hours and up to 12 different meds a day for months. I remember one day they changed his dosages on me at the doctors office and my brain was so fried I just looked a a nurse friend of mine and said "Please help me figure this out, I'm so tired". Daily dressing changes. Then there was one of my least favorite things, the withdraw off of methadone on Christmas weekend. If you're ever offered methadone for pain, just say no. After a 3 wean, he STILL had a HORRIBLE withdraw and spent Christmas morning in tears from the withdraw instead of with his kids. It wasn't until the end of January that he was able to get his driving privledges back, and a week later, he got hospitalized and had 2 surgeries for an infection. :( Setbacks. Then there was the PICC line. While it was a very cool procedure to watch, I could have done without it in my otherwise healthy, 27 year old husband. 3 times a day, IV meds in a PICC line for 6 weeks. Now that's HOT. HAHA But dear GOD I love my husband, I mean seriously, I cut his dangling, mangled arm out of an auger and then held it together all the way to the hospital in the back of an ambulance! I have been to more doctor's appointments in the past year then I will probably ever go to in my life. I tried to spread myself out evenly, I know my kids need me too. I think I took good care of my sweetie (he'll probably disagree, but he was high). I did an okay job with the kids, they're young, whatever bang up job I did should resolve itself, or I'll just start setting aside money for therapy now....HAHA. Their stand in MOM was there. Rahrah. She's pretty cool. My sister, God I love her. She's the best thing ever. When George told me today that the same doctor who stood in that family room 10 months ago and said "I think he will keep his arm, but he won't have full use, and he'll never be a firefighter again", wrote him a note to return to full duty, as a firefighter I just cried. I'm so proud of my husband. There were days that we have both been close to giving up. It's been hard as HELL to get through this. But we've had such amazing support. We must be doing something right in our lives to deserve all the wonderful people who have been there for us. George and I have been friends for 25 years. We've been dating on and off for 15 years, together steady for 10 years and married 5. We have 2 beautiful children. We have weathered the storm. He is my person, my best friend. I feel so blessed that God picked him to be my husband. We're as opposite as can be when it comes to some things, but when it comes to things that matter, we are best friends, and think the same. I miss him every second that I'm not with him. I love him. I am so glad he's here. I'm so glad he's okay and that he can do the job for which he has passion. I will stop rambling now. It's been a very emotional day.