June first.

Well, if you're new to our life (as some of my mommy friends are) then I'm sure by now you've heard me mention my fabulous father in law, Phil.  But you haven't met him.  Because three years ago today, he had a farming accident.  He spent 5 very awful days in the hospital before he died on June 5, 2011.  I don't cry much anymore.  Maybe once a week or so.  I'm easily overcome by emotion when I think about him and the kids.  If you DID know us then, then you know how much he loved my little goobers!  Actually, if you knew him, then he probably had my number one boy with him.  Even at the bar.  Yep, that crazy old man used to take the golf cart and go down (.5 mile) the road to the bar and hang out outside the bar with my baby.  They were inseparable.  And honestly, I had no objection.  There were rules (like no smoking around the baby) but no objections.  In fact, if it's possible, I think he may have loved my son more that I did!
When I remember this particular day, I of course have very very good memory of the things I did and said that day.  What I was doing and where I was when I got the call.  I remember things like sitting in the waiting room with my mom and my sister (I was the first one there) and then my sister in law.  I rember seeing Steve pull up with George and thinking, Steve can take care of John.  So many things I remember so well.  I don't know if that's good or bad.   I think some of the good of it all is that I remember faces of people who were THERE for us.  The ones who helped and provided and got us through that ugly time.  Steve and Crystal Minor.   My God, if these people aren't heaven sent then I just don't know where they came from.  I love Steve like a brother for all he's done for us.  Other people that I immediately think of when I think of this time, my family (ALL of them), Helen Reel, Reita Elks, Brenda Elks, too many to name from the fire department, Alida, Amy, Lizzie Joyner and so many many more.  These are the people you want on your team.  When shit gets real, they're there.
Sometimes people ask me how I survived that year with a baby and a 2 year old.  And the only answer I can really give, "with help".  I don't know either, but I DO know that if all of these people hadn't helped me, and somedays literally held me up, then I wouldn't have.  June 1, 2011, through May 31, 2012 was by far the worst 12 months of my life and I wish that on no one.  But we made it.  We have an amazing guardian angel on our side.
The one thing that changed the most since that day, is that I stopped watching Y&R.  I couldn't care any less about it.  I watched it with Phil.  And I can't do it anymore without him.  Many people aren't aware of our relationship.  He was one of my best friends, I know that's weird.  But it was awesome.  He accepted me with open arms from day one of dating G.  He helped me, he took care of me, he hung out with me when George was working to keep me company.  I miss him every single day.  I am thankful for all of our wonderful memories.  I'm thankful that he and I never missed an opportunity to tell each other that we loved each other.  I loved him and he knew it.  He loved me and I knew it.  I find peace in that.  Make sure if you love someone, they know.

Day 5 of the Financial Fast

Well, so far, so good. For me anyway. We have had to make some important decisions together about some money that we just weren't ready to stop spending. There's the obvious tithes that I didn't cover in our original agreement. So, of course, we will continue with that. We also did not think about charity. Normally, we aren't the type of people to just regularly give money to charity. But, we are the BBQ Plate, raffle ticket kind of people. We went to a benefit for our dear friend, Bigun, on Saturday. Bigun is a young man who married my best friend from high school, she is also the mother of our Goddaughter, our first baby, Mackenzy. We love him like he is family, there's no doubt about that! So we bought 3 bbq plates and $1.50 worth of cake walk tickets. We left the benefit with full bellies, 2 pound cakes (yeah that is going to grandma's house tomorrow) and a stuffed hippo for Maggie. We spent $22.50 and had a wonderful time. Well worth the money spent. We also bought 3 tickets for another raffle. The father of one of our friends passed away from cancer a week and a half ago. a couple of other friends were doing a raffle and tickets were $25 for three. We bought three. I WON something! WOOHOO I won a haircut from a salon in Greenville. I know what you're all thinking, the MASTAH does her fabulous hair. I know, I know, but free is free so Phoi Phillips at Matt Holder will be cutting this head. WITH approval from Heather, THE MASTAH, at Salon Circa (shameless advertisement, I know). Our final charity this week was a $50 donation to the NC Fallen Firefighters Fund. You know, the whole facebook cold water challenge craze.....it worked. So $50 is going to that charity. I'm not sure there is any GOOD financial justification for participating in charity. Other than we just think we should. It's important for us to give to others. Trust me, and I hope most of you never know, but it's damn scary to be in a tight spot or to face the possibility of losing things. We've been there, and we've been "loved" in so many ways by others. I'll get to that in just a minute, but I want to finish talking about the money first.
 I did go grocery shopping this week. And by shopping at Aldi, and making a really serious effort to use up things we have at home, I've come in well under budget on food. Wednesday night I made a BUNCH of waffles and pancakes for supper. Then we froze the rest. So the kids have been having that for breakfast this week. Thursday night we had baked chicken and we made a lot of it. So Friday we had chicken salad and I made a pot of black beans that had been sitting around forever. On Saturday we had the benefit, so we had bbq. And then we had chicken fajitas (made with leftover chicken, black beans, peppers, and onions). Today, Sunday we ate at a party and brought home leftovers. So far we are doing great. George has bought two pepsis, although he HAS bought them at the fire department where they are cheaper. I bought one gatorade yesterday because I had a headache. Overall I feel like we are doing okay. I think it is at the very least challenging us to THINK before we spend anything at all. We are also writing down every penny spent so we can evaluate the month. And I mean every penny, down to george's 55 cent pepsi!

 I want to spend a few minutes writing about "today" as in June first. But I think it would be better suited for a separate post.

30 day spending fast: the rules

It has been so long since I've blogged! I have missed blogging ans I'm excited about the opportunity to blog about this journey! Today is the day that we've chosen to do a 30 day spending fast. Perhaps that's not the right word, a spending reset or detox may be better suited. To start with, I will outline our rules. We looked up several blogs and plans from financial site and came up with our own rules and plan that we think will work best for us! This we Will spend money on and the rules within each category: Gas- gas will be bought, but will will cut out any trips hat aren't necessary and we will try to combine trips as much as possible, Food- I don't even want to think about how much we spend on food! and how much we WASTE on food. We will buy fresh fruits and veggies, baking things (flour, baking soda, etc). We will NOT be buying: alcohol, soda, flavor for water, fast food, take out, eating out, candy, cakes or sweets, chips or other "junk" food. The goal is to try to clean out the freezer and cupboards as much as possible. We will have some nights and days of strange meals. But we will do it! Well being items: sunscreen, bug spray, etc. things that are a must for our health and well being. Clothes: the only items we have agreed on are a bathing suit or two for John and Will. And we will try to get those for free or trade or cheap. Shoes Emily is giving up: Starbucks, online shopping, books (except for one book needed for a mom faith group), movies, or other entertainment George has agreed to give up buying breakfast in the morning, buying soda, entertainment, other extras. Gifts: we are talented people. We will not buy any gifts this month. We will make anything we can for gifting. Crafts: we will try to use up what craft supplies we have already We realize that needs may come up. Also wants. We will attempt to trade, barter, borrow anything we need. We hope that our friends and family will support us on this journey! I've already secured the items we need for tball from friends. Feeling blessed already. I am planning to start making laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, bread, and other items. We have so many of the things we need already to make that stuff! Entertainment: we've made a list of free or very cheap things to do as a family. Concert and movie in the park series, $1 movies, bible school, etc. my dad has graciously volunteered to pay for John to attend a 4h camp kn July also. We have also agreed upon a purchase that we need to make for a $10 cover for the pool. Things that we do need if anyone has them laying around: baby monitor for taking outside while kids are playing in the pool, old pillows that need recovering (I have a project in mind), large storage tubs and large storage bags, jars with kids small and large. We can barter for sewing, monogramming, some herbs, soon we will have some fresh veggies too! We are also looking to get some peas and carrots (we didn't get to plant them) and onions if anyone has any extra. I'm sure I will have some thoughts to add to this later. I will try to update with our progress every few days!

Ramblings while I rest!

Facebook just asked me if I would like to see my "Year in Review" and I, out of curiousity chose yes. One of the statuses it showed me was this one from January 31st, the second time George was in the hospital. During this stay he endured two surgeries for an infection in the hardware of his arm. It read, "Wow. The gentleman housekeeper who's been quietly cleaning our room every morning for the past 3 days just stopped me in the hall. He said, "Ma'am, I know you're busy, but I have to tell you. I'm a minister of the gospel and I've been watching you and your husband. You are an annointed one. God has something in store for you. Keep your faith. He's going to do great things through you." And he just kept on walking." It gave me goosebumps to read it again. I remember that when I was there I was always stressed because I was trying to figure out what was the next time. And during this particular event we weren't sure if George was going to keep his job, his arm, his insurance, or anything. I was 2 months out from losing my job and I'd say that it was probably the beginning of the lowest point in the battle for us. I was walking down the hall that day with my lunch in my hands. Tired, scared and overwhelmed. Juggling a very sick husband, 2 kids and a farm. I don't think I've served my purpose yet. I'm still waiting. But I still have my faith. That has never waivered. Not once. I can't wait to see just what it is God has in store. I have accepted a contract position with ECU College of Health Education as a University Supervisor part time. Very part time. I am very blessed for this opportunity and I can only pray that it opens up more doors for me. I had a training meeting on campus yesterday and I honestly can not even begin to express the joy and passion that filled my body by being in a room with educators, talking about education. I will never have any doubts about what my career passion is in life. On a health note, I had my epidural injection this morning. It was not pleasant but not as terrible as I expected. I am supposed to rest all day today. And the doctor said I should feel pretty good by Saturday. Unfortunately George is working a 48 hour shift and won't be home until tomorrow morning so rest is limited. Next week he will be off on Sunday and Monday and Thursday night. It's sad when it's easier to count the hours he'll be off rather that the hours he'll be working. Fortunately my WONDERFUL MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) group gave me a wonderful "get well" gift to hire someone to come clean for me so maybe it will save my back while George is gone. Well I guess that's our week in review. I want to write about all the craft projects I'm working on, but then I'd be telling everyone about their Christmas gifts, and we can't have that! :) I'm also working on a few charity "love" projects right now too!

Merry Christmas From The Strickland's! :)

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

BACK in action soon?

Alright, it seems we have a plan. At least a short term one that I can live with (as long as it works like I want it to ;) ) I saw the neurosurgeon this morning and he seems to have some conflicting thoughts on my spine. His first thought is that I've done a great job with trying conservative therapy thus far. And there are a few more things that we can try and we can try a different combination of therapies. That said, he said he is disappointed that the therapies haven't worked well and he is not optimistic that further therapies will give me any long term relief. (bummer) He also said that he didn't know for sure that surgery would work either. But that if I was ever ready (I made it clear early on that I was more interested in conservative therapy more than surgery) there was more imaging and testing he could do to see if surgery would be a more viable option. That is to say, we could do further testing instead of just cutting. We decided that I should try epidural steriod injections a series of 3 over the next 6 weeks to try and reduce some of the inflammation in my lower back and give me more mobility. This would also help me to get back into physical therapy more regularly. The downside is that PT is costly so we will have to work that out somehow. I've also got to call today and find out how much these lovely epidural injections are going to set me back. :( He has also referred me to a doctor that specializes in conservative pain management. He will set me up with a TENS device and help me try to manage my pain in a non-invasive and non-medicated way. The surgeon was also very kind in that when I told him how terrified I was of the thought of back surgery at my age he reminded me that if that is what I needed, then that is what would help. But that we could try many other things before we went there. And if the day came that I woke up and said, "I can't handle this pain." then he said he would sit down with me and discuss surgery and go over all of my fears and concerns and the benefits until I was ready. I respect that. He also said that I could take my images to several other practices in Greenville and easily find a doctor who would do surgery next week because it generates good income, but he didn't think that it was right for me, right now. That I had other options to exhaust first. I am feeling optimistic about the short term. I kind of got the feeling that he was saying that at some point, I'd be like my mom, in my 50's and needing back surgery. But for now, I was young and willing and able, and we should try other things. And I'm totally with him on that!

It's been a year.....

One year ago tonight, our lives changed. I almost lost my husband but God had bigger plans for us. I won't ever forget hearing his voice on the phone, or cutting him out of that piece of equipment. I won't forget his voice saying, "I can't breathe." Or the paramedic saying "Can you hold his arm together?" I won't ever forget thinking that this couldn't possibly be happening again so soon. And that his sister just couldn't go through this. His grandparents wouldn't be able to handle it if he didn't make it. All the thoughts running through my head in a matter of minutes. I wasn't sure what would happen or how badly he was injured. After we got the news that he had a subdural hematoma, 6 broken ribs, a pneumothorax, and broken humerus, radius and ulna, I wasn't sure what to think. They put a chest tube in when he was in the trauma bay and took him into surgery immediately. What in the world would I do?! I had two tiny kids at home. I needed him to be okay! In the end, he was. It wasn't easy. He got infections. He had 6 surgeries total. He spent a grand total of 17 (I think) nights in the hospital. He missed a ton of work. He had a PICC line IV for 6 weeks that he had to give himself (or I had to give him) antibiotics through 3 times a day. I bathed him, and fed him and dressed him. For 2 months I set my alarm clock for every 2 hours to give him meds around the clock. It was like having a newborn baby again. My beautiful and precious little sister moved in and spent every night and day with us for 3 months assisting in care of George and the kids. I wouldn't have made it without her. I think the number one question I've been asked was "how did you do it?" Or a statement, "I couldn't have done that if I were in your shoes." Referring to me cutting George out of the auger. And the truth is I did it because I HAD to. There wasn't another option. And it's really hard to say how one would react until they are actually in a certain situation. All I know is that I ran out in cold, barefoot and saw his arm open and dangling and he said, "I'm getting ready to pass out because I can't breathe, call 911 and cut me out of here. My hunting knife is in the truck." And I did what I had to do, even if Todd at 911 told me not to! (Sorry Todd- LOL) I love my husband more than anything, he's been my bestfriend and partner for 10 years, my friend for 27. I assure you that you would likely get the adrenaline rush to do the same. It has been the hardest year of my life. Ups and downs. There was such an outpouring of love that it made it hard to be sad. I don't think I was ever sad. I was scared sometimes, but I remember the firemen who came in and out giving me hugs and telling me it was going to be okay, and they were right, they made it okay. We owe so much to them. We're still not back to 100% normal. We, or I, still struggle emotionally with it all. I still don't have a job. I don't think our black cloud has left us yet, the medical bills keep rolling in. But I think the most important thing is that we made it. He made it. It's been a year and we're all alive and we're making it.