One year

One year has come and gone. I wondered what it would be like, some people say time heals. Those people, I'm sure, have never lost someone they loved so deeply. Time does NOT heal. That I am certain of. What time does do is help the memories become happy things, rather than pain and tears, the memories immediately bring a smile to your face. I loved Phil dearly. He was the first person in this family to embrace me and he truly loved me like I was his daughter. I never for one second doubted that. His love for all people, black, white, big, little, rich, poor, was admirable. I am not sure I've ever met anyone else quite as tolerable and open minded as him. He had an uncanny ability to just love people for who they were on the inside, regardless of any past indiscrestions. I am not sure what I expected from the year. I don't think we've had time to heal given the other trauma we've had to endure, but maybe we'll be stronger in the end for it all. Living out here on the farm doesn't give much of chance to push any memories away or allow us to forget. Phil is here, all the time. In everything we do. He's here in John. John mentions him daily. We live in the house that was Phil's. The golf cart, the shop, the saddle I ride with, the boots George wears, the motorcycle. We have Phil's hat on display next to the first little hat he bought John from the John Deere store. There are constant reminders. Not to mention George is so much like his Dad it's crazy! I can't listen to that new song "He's Mine" without bawling. Phil used to say that about George "That's MY boy" is what he used to say, no matter if he was doing good or bad. We miss him but his memory will never be gone. We were lucky for the time we had. I think often about this poem that was read at the funeral it sums up Phil so well. Furrows And Fields Author: Jilchristy Dee I spent my life in furrows and fields Working and tilling the land Observing the beauties created By God’s almighty hand I have touched the richness of soil I’ve born the wind and sun on my face And I would choose this life and this land Over any other place A life filled with crimson-dawned mornings When I was up to greet the sky Days spent with family and creation All throughout my life I was blessed to experience each springtime Where raindrops have washed the earth clean While summer’s sun nurtured my harvests Fields bearing the lushness of green And my life’s been strengthened by trials For the weak can never belong In a living where nature and the elements Form a body and a courage that’s strong Still, I’ve also been blessed with some miracles During trying times, when I couldn’t go on Until God sent me the help I needed And kept me right where I belonged So having witnessed the power of God Upon my life and upon the seasons I know there’s a purpose in everything Though sometimes we don’t know the reasons …And so my life must be no different Just like the crops that I have grown For I am also God’s child and seed That at harvest must come home… To share in the joy of His presence And to humbly kneel at His feet Entering into His joy, and His rest For a season of everlasting peace Copyright 2008 Jilchristy Dee. All Rights Reserved.